Sirius has no shame!
by destiny-hope-975
Summary: "Sirius Black remove your hand from mr Lupins genitals this instance!" Professor McGonagall very nearly yelled, her cat like eyes that were previously scanning the class had frozen on two boys seated at a desk in the far back corner of her transfiguration class. Remus/Sirius


******Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, the pleasure is all JK Rowling's. I do not make any profit by writing these fan-fictions they are simply for your entertainment. ********Enjoy.**

"Black! Remove your hand from Mr Lupins genitals this instance!" Professor McGonagall very nearly yelled, her cat like eyes that were previously scanning the class had frozen on two boys seated at a desk in the far back corner of her transfiguration class.

Remus was blushing scarlet at his boyfriends antics but Sirius seemed at total ease as he made a show of removing his hand from under the desk, clasping them behind his head and leaning back in his chair, smirking.

The whole class had turned to look at the pair, many girls were giggling and blushing, it seems even after the two boys announced their preferences for males late last year many girls still harboured crushed towards them. Some students, Peter Pettigrew included, fell of their chair in shock or dropped their ink bottle. James Potter burst out laughing and he received two looks from his best mates, one a glare and the other an amused grin. Lily Evans was alternating between shooting sympathetic looks towards her fellow Prefect and disapproving glares towards Sirius, obviously blaming the situation on the latter.

"Potter what is so funny?" asked Professor McGonagall with ill-disguised annoyance as she turned her piercing glare to the be-speckled boy.

"Nothing Minnie," McGonagall's lips thinned at the nickname, "if you think this is bad you should feel sorry for me and Wormtail! He nearly wet himself yesterday afternoon when we innocently walked into our dorms and BAM!" James lowered his voice to a loud whisper, "They had handcuffs and lube and chocolate and they were NAKED!" Remus put his head between his hands and started muttering about 'revenge' and 'embarrassing traitorous friends' while Sirius just continued to grin as he gave a suggestive wink to a girl sitting near bye, she fell of her chair blushing.

"You can hear them from the common room sometimes too" James continued, it seemed Professor McGonagall was to shocked to interrupt "they can be very loud, 'Moony your cocks so fucking big' like why would the whole common-room want to know about the size of Remus' prick, right? or 'god Sirius you are so bloody tight' why would I care if my best mate was 'tight'? and then you get the usual moaning and groaning and screaming..."

James winked at his two friends and Sirius grinned back, Remus caught his eye and tried to glare but a smile was tugging at the corner of the lips and he had to look away to prevent himself from smiling back.

Professor McGonagall had seemed to recover from her shocked and speechless state and was now glaring at James Potter, he either didn't notice or was not perturbed, "Potter, you will be serving detention with Filch every night for the next week" she stated.

"But Minnie..." he begged, "next week I have Quidditch training on Monday and Wednesday and detention on Tuesday, Thursday and Friday night, all of Saturday and Sunday afternoon too!" James complained, "How will I get all my homework done?"

"Homework Potter?" said Professor McGonagall disbelievingly,

"I do homework!" said James defensively, Professor McGonagall jut continued to look at him while Sirius cracked up laughing.

"Reading Quidditch Weekly or writing love poems to Evans isn't 'homework' mate," James glared at Sirius and Lily blushed.

"Serve detention with Filch the week after next then!" said Professor McGonagall, her patience wearing thin, James groaned and shot a look at his laughing friends before nodding reluctantly.

"Now back to the matter at hand, Black explain yourself!" Professor McGonagall's piercing glare had turned to the smirking grey eyed boy,

"It wasn't my fault! I swear!" said Sirius but he was still grinning, Lily gave a very unladylike snort.

"I'll humour you then," said Professor McGonagall "who's fault was it?"

"It's Moony's fault!" said Sirius, pointing an accusing finger at his boyfriend,

"Padfoot..." Remus warned wary of where he was taking this but Sirius simply grinned back before turning his facial expression to one of fake innocence, "Moony was sucking on a sugar quill!" Sirius stated as though that explained everything,

"And..." prompted Professor McGonagall though she looked wary at where he was taking this.

"He was sucking on a sugar quill!" Sirius said again, emphasising the word 'sucking' at this a few people, including James snickered or laughed, Remus just continued glaring at his boyfriend.

"I hardly see why that is a reason to start groping Mr Lupin in my classroom"

"He was teasing me! He did it all on purpose! What did you expect me to do? Just sit there and wait until class was over until I could ravish him?"

"YES" said Professor McGonagall, "I am sure Mr Lupin was not teasing you either..."

"He was!" yelled Sirius, "first his shirt raised up because he needed to 'stretch', then he loosened his tie a bit and unbuttoned his shirt because he was 'hot', then he but his lip because he was 'concentrating' then he started sucking a sugar quill 'subconsciously...'" but his rant was interrupted by the laughter of the rest of his classmates, Remus was looking at Sirius with humour and something like disbelief in his amber eyes he was smiling and laughing lightly.

"You've got it bad!" said James, shaking his head in amusement and Sirius looked at Remus and said, "Yes, can't blame me but, Moony being such a sexy beast and all!" Remus blushed and Sirius joined in the laughter.

"Enough!" yelled Professor McGonagall over the noise, "if you cannot control your laughter you can leave the classroom immediately!" at this everyone sobered up a bit.

"Now, Black, as err...interesting as you're reasoning for groping Mr Lupin here is, I am going to have to 20 points from Gryffindor and you will serve one week of detention with Mr Filch too" Sirius and James winked at each other, "not with Potter!" Professor McGonagall yelled and the two boys groaned simultaneously.

"You should be glad Padfoot err... Sirius wasn't on his knees sucking Remus off with all the 'amazing' reasons Sirius gave..." James said laughing to himself, Professor McGonagall turned to scold James but Sirius beat her to it, "I did consider it but can't have anyone seeing my Moony's bits besides me now can I?" he said sarcastically while Remus groaned in embarrassment and put his head in his hands. "I understand you are sexually frustrated love..." said Sirius jokingly, pretending Remus' groan wasn't one of annoyance, Remus glared at him.

"Potter keep your opinion to yourself! Black do not encourage him!" Professor McGonagall said in a raised voice, she was desperately trying not to loose her temper and yell again. "know one wants to hear about what you and Mr Lupin do in your dormitories!" Professor McGonagall said.

"Just the dormitories? Please Minnie! One time Remus, the kinky bastard, bound me to your desk and gagged me..." but Sirius could not finish his sentence as Remus had silenced his boyfriend by placing his hand over his mouth, James had started laughing again but Professor McGonagall paid know mind to him.

"Mr Lupin, tell me what Black just said is not true?" She enquired, the whole class had gone quiet and were watching Professor McGonagall and Remus curiously.

"Well, I was originally going to leave him bound on your desk naked as punishment but I got a bit distracted..." Remus replied flushing scarlet.

"I am in seriously considering removing your prefect badge Mr Lupin for such insolent behaviour however, considering you were only trying to punish Black originally, as scandalous as your methods are, I will not."

"Wait wait wait, you bound and gagged Sirius to Minnie's desk naked and you never told me!" interrupted James, "no one never tells me anything to me anymore..." he let out a sigh of fake hurt.

"I did consider it but can't have anyone seeing my Padfoot's bits besides me now can I?" said Remus, using Sirius earlier line mockingly, James and the class cracked up laughing. Sirius pretended to look affronted and glared at Remus but his grin gave him away and he was soon laughing too.

"I have had enough! Class dismissed! Black Lupin Potter stay behind, I think we need a word about your behaviour!"

The students all packed up and walked past the three boys, Sirius and James were grinning but Remus looked annoyed at his two black haired friends. Lily shot Remus a sympathetic look and nearly smiled at Sirius and James but caught herself just in time and left, Peter shook his head good naturedly and left too.

Eventually there were only the three boys and Professor McGonagall left in the classroom, "You boys are making me go grey" she shook her head and smiled a bit, the boys were shocked to find that her voice lacked the usual severeness, "you are in seventh year next year, I am correct?" Professor McGonagall asked although she already knew, they nodded, curious to see where this is going, "You must not breathe a word of this to anyone, not even Dumbledore although I have an inkling he will know anyway, judging by the consistent twinkle in his eye..." Professor McGonagall shook her head and laughed quietly,

"There is a horrible war building outside the safety of the Hogwarts grounds. Three days ago I had to call the first student into my office and tell her that her parents and younger brother were murdered, she will not be the first I am sure..." Professor McGonagall shook her head again, this time sadly and looked into the hazel, amber and grey eyes of the boys sitting in front if her, their faces were sorry. "I, along with the other Professors, have been watching her seeing how she is coping..." as Professor McGonagall continued she smiled and her voice sounded more hopeful "for the first time today she laughed, truly smiled and for a second I think she forgot just the tragedy that had happened to her family, when she left the classroom she was with Lily Evans, talking to someone for the first time in days," Professor McGonagall smiled sincerely at the boys who now looked thoroughly confused, "don't you get it? You boys made her laugh! made her happy! made her realise there was still hope and life will go on. Although you don't realise it you have just helped this girl through her grief."

"Just promise me this Remus, Sirius and James, that you will continue to make people smile, it is in your natures to do so and in the last six or so years I have come to know that you rather enjoy causing mischief, pranking and joking." Sirius winked, Remus smiled and James grinned.

"People can't help but smile when you three walk into the room laughing or joking or simply grinning, Merlin! People smile when they see Remus telling you two off! When they see James asking Lily out or Sirius flirting shamelessly! Remus when you go to the library and drag Sirius and James along people laugh, When you three grin as though you know some amazing inside joke and minutes later the Slytherin's robes turn red and gold or their hair turns purple people laugh! You three are truly amazing in that sense and I am so incredibly proud to say you three are in my house because with this horrible war raging outside people need a laugh." Professor McGonagall finished and the three boys were smirking, all with that mischievous glint in their eye, She smiled back at them.

"Messrs. Moony Prongs and Padfoot at your service Ma'am" said James. "We solemnly swear that we are up to no good" he winked and grinned, Professor McGonagall rolled her eyes.

"I understand why you didn't want us to 'breathe a word of this to anyone!'" said Sirius "Professor McGonagall asking, actually asking us to prank and cause mischief!" he grinned, " Ohh the irony!"

"We would be honoured to 'make people laugh' as you put it Professor" said Remus and he gave a cheeky smile.

"Thank-you boys, Sirius, James don't worry about those detentions, Just don't breathe a word of this conversation to anyone" Professor McGonagall said smiling and it made her look years younger, "You may leave now, thank-you" she said sincerely.

The boys all exchanged glances and at the same time stood up, instead of turning towards the door however they walked forward to where Professor McGonagall was standing.

"You can leave now" she said again but they simply grinned and shook their heads, "boys..." she warned as they came closer until they were standing in a line directly in front of her.

"We are touched that you think it is in our 'natures' to make people laugh..." started James as he opened his arms up and Professor McGonagall took another step back until she was backed against the desk.

"...And as a symbol of our appreciation..." continued Remus, he smiled mysteriously and his eyes twinkled,

"...We think it would be appropriate to give you a hug." Finished Sirius, winking, before all three of them took a step forward and threw their arms around their flustered Professor.

Sirius, who was standing in the middle wrapped his arms around her waist, Remus and James both put one arm around Professor McGonagall's shoulder and one arm on Sirius' back, effectively trapping her in the embrace. Professor McGonagall patted Sirius back awkwardly and tried to wriggle out of the hug but they just held on tighter, she groaned in annoyance and finally relaxed, moving her arms to go behind James and Remus' backs until her hands were placed on Sirius back.

After one minute or so they finally let go, they were all grinning at her, "What now!" Professor McGonagall said exasperatedly but she was smiling.

"You know," started Sirius, pretending to be examining his nail, "you were just hugged..."

"Forcefully, yes" interrupted Professor McGonagall with the tiniest hint of humour in her voice,

"Don't pretend you didn't like it Minnie..." admonished James, tutting and waggling his finger jokingly.

"Anyway, you were just hugged by the three best looking boys in the year, school even! Do you understand how jealous my fan-girls would be right now!" Sirius stated while Remus and James chuckled.

"Black, what are you getting at?" Professor McGonagall asked, her eyes had narrowed slightly.

"Nothing, nothing, I was wondering if you would help us out with our latest prank...?"

"No! I couldn't! I... I'm a Professor and, and..." Professor McGonagall looked scandalised at the very idea.

"It wont be a prank on the students, it will be on the professors, Professor Slughorn actually?" Sirius pleaded using his very best pout, Professor McGonagall looked wary.

"Explain this prank and we will see..." she said, the three boys grinned back and launched into an explanation.

It was well known between the students at Hogwarts that the rivalry between Slytherin and Gryffindor was at an all time high during the lead up between the Slytherin-Gryffindor Quidditch match and the stakes for this particular game were at an all time high considering this was the deciding game for the Quidditch Cup. This rivalry was also true for the two house leaders, Professor McGonagall and Professor Slughorn. Last year after the Slytherin's unfairly one the cup by a mix of sabotage and dirty play the Gryffindor's were more determined than ever to win.

"After 20 minutes of explaining and planning the boys asked again "Wanna help us out?"

"I never truly appreciated the complex magic used in these pranks, I congratulate you all" Professor McGonagall said and Sirius and James pointed at Remus who blushed pink under the praise.

"I do think I will be able to help you with the prank on Professor Slughorn... The charming of Severus, Lucius, Rodolphus, Bellatrix and Narcissa's robes however I will not be involved in, although I doubt you would need my help for that anyway..." Professor McGonagall said, shaking her head in amazement.

"Fantastic Minnie! It was great doing business with you" Sirius said handing Professor McGonagall two small liquid filled crystal vials, "Remember the clear one in his pumpkin juice in the morning, the yellow one goes into his crystallised pineapples the night before because it has a twelve hour delaying charm on it" Sirius finished, he winked and Professor McGonagall smiled and stowed the vials away in her robes.

"I will see you all on Sunday at the Quidditch Game!" She said as they exited the classroom.

Next week at the Gryffindor and Slytherin quidditch game the snitch, after it refused to fly, was discovered to be a shrunken Professor Slughorn who was yellow and had wings charmed to his back. Bellatrix Blacks robes said, 'I spread for the snake', Rodolphus Lestrange's robes said, 'I am Bellatrix's bitch', Severus Snape's robes said, 'I am asexual', Narcissa Black's robes said, 'Ice bitch' and Lucius Malfoy's robes said, 'Luscious mouthful'.

**Remember, Reviews are almost as good as getting to prank with the Marauder ;)**

******Check out my other fan-fiction's too if you enjoyed this and message me if you have any requests, I will see what I can do :)**


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